he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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