Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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