i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize