Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
