oh god the rape fog is back!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
