Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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