i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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