big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
