Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize