watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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