so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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