he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
