I smell stomach acid.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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