just come out here and I will go home with you...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
