Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is wine microwaveable?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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