so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
