Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
