Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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