my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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