I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.