I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.