Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.