he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.