was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This house was built for laser tag.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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