The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
