i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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