so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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