I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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