Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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