i just wanna soil my oats bro
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize