I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
don't judge my taste in strippers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
