Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
