First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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