Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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