everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
