omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
