I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
