Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
