I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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