So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
