Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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