We're facebook friends in real life
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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