Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize