That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
