I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize