maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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