I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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