My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
