Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
