dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize