You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize