i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
