Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
