How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
