You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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