I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
