Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
